On The Other Side of The Fence

I understand that career prospects in the Philippines are bleak. I understand why some people have to go out of the country to look for a job. It's just that there never was a need for me to do so. I have a lot of friends working abroad and I had been invited many times to join them. I declined every single time. Not because I am earning well in the Philippines but because I never had the need to earn that much. I am perfectly happy here. I don't want to go. My roommate said that I am the only person she knows who doesn't want to go. I don't care. I want to stay. Or so I thought, until a month ago.

Dianne is in Dubai and she told Tetet and I that if we are interested to go work there, she could help us. Tetet said yes in a heartbeat. I told them that if Tetet manages to get out of the country, then I'll join them both. I didn't even think about it.  My mind did a 360-degree turn in a split second.

I don't know what my motives are and as soon as I'm done analyzing my feelings, I will get back to you. All I could come up right now is that maybe, subconsciously, I want to escape. Escape from what, I cannot say yet. Some part of me still don't want to go. I am a Taurus. I am a big fan of security and comfort zones. I am not the kind of person who has an if-you-can't-beat-them-join-them mentality. If I had lived in the time of Moses, I would not have joined the exodus. So why now? Why seek greener pastures in, as Janica put it, some dessert city? Oh, the irony.