Nostalgic For Anime

I came across this on YouTube. It's one of my favorite anime shows and has one of my favorite anime songs as well:



I used to watch it with my younger siblings. Finding it now brought back to mind a bunch of really good times and I realize how I terribly miss those guys.

The truth of the matter is one of the reasons that I moved out of the house was because I felt that it had become way too small for all of us. I have 4 younger siblings and they behaved like how normal kids do when they are around each other. They fought, they bickered, they teased, they ran around the house, they yelled at each other. The chaos was insane. I just had to get away.

Don't get me wrong. I love my siblings. That is something that I have always known. I practically raised our youngest brother. Being the eldest, I was very protective of them. I would fight their battles for them if I had to. When somebody bullied them, I always came to their rescue. I threatened to beat the other kid until he promised not to mess with my siblings anymore. I would rather die than see any harm come to those kids. But at some point, I grew exasperated of the chaos and the proximity to those little monster kids became too much.

There were a lot of things we didn't agree about, especially when it came to watching TV. They liked basketball and gag shows. I liked Charmed and Gilmore Girls. But when it came to anime, we were all in complete agreement. We watched Ghostfighter, Dragonballs, Samurai X, Slam Dunk, etc. on TV together. The homeworks had to wait. We even used to sing along to the opening and closing songs. They were all in Japanese and we didn't know the lyrics but we sung it with feelings. Now I will always look back at those times and feel lucky that I have my siblings who shared those times with me.

I'll be back home for a few days this weekend. When I do, I'll give each of them a bear hug and tell them that I missed them.

Forgive me, but before I sign out for the weekend, here's another one of those anime songs:

Random Memory # 2: A Test Subject for Freud

I am like my father in so many ways. My mother said that had I been a boy, I would have been his exact carbon-copy. Unfortunately for my mother, that was to her disadvantage. I'll explain later. One of the many things that my father and I share in common is our extremely low tolerance for pain. Let me share a random memory.

I was about 4 and my father came home from a basketball game with a huge scrape on his knee (what else can you get by having 10 guys fight over one stupid ball?). Upon seeing this, my mother went into wife-mode, chastising my father for not being careful while preparing the disinfectant and some cotton balls. I, on the other hand, fascinated by how a grown person can get wounded like a scrawny kid in the playground, was examining my father's wound. Apparently, kids have high tolerance for stuff that would otherwise induce a cringe from an adult. When my mother was done with her preparations and was about to disinfect my father's knees, she relegated me to a corner from where my vantage point was limited to a view of my mother's back. The moment the alcohol-soaked cotton made contact with my father's wound, he gave out a loud howl. It brought about a panic in me and prompted me to do what I thought was called for on such occasions.

I bit my mother.

I bit her so hard that this time it was her who had to give out a loud shriek. She abandoned the idea of cleaning the wound for fear that I would bite her again until I drew blood.

Far be it for me to rationalize my actions from two decades ago, I can only say that some instinct kicked in when I thought that my father was being killed and I had to do what I had to do. Freud would probably be amused and say that I have a classic case of an Electra Complex. Maybe so. Based on my own observations, I noticed that most first-born girls have this kind of attachment to their fathers. And I really am a carbon-copy of my dad. Not only do we have similar physical features but we also share an inclination to impulsive shopping and, more importantly, a loathing for housework. Like I said, unfortunately for my mother.

I See Dead People

No, I do not mean that literally. God forbid if I start doing so. You probably need to take that as a sign of an impending apocalypse. I am digressing here since this is not the main topic of this blog entry. But for the sake of satisfying the curiosity of my faithful readers (a grand total of 2 persons), let me explain.

I do not believe that dead people walk among us. There is no metaphysical, paranormal or parapsychological explanation for this, just a logical one. Even if dead people have the option to remain on earth to haunt the living, as good as that sounds, I don't think that they are inclined to chose that option. The world is over-populated enough as it is. There is just not enough room for them anymore. And because, unlike the dead, the living do not have the option to go elsewhere other than this planet (Mars is not yet open for occupancy), it is more likely that dead people take the high road and choose the more suitable place for themselves. Or if they don't get to chose, as the case may be, I still think that any place other than with the living is the more acceptable option.

Let me elaborate. Not a lot of people go to heaven. It is probably this really huge and beautiful place where your closest neighbor lives in another zip code, or perhaps in another time zone. Who doesn't want to go there? As for hell, there might be a long line leading into that place but Dante said that there are 9 circles, one for each sin, and I highly doubt that any of them are full. Why else would Lucifer be wanting more people to go to hell? I'm sure it's not because he doesn't have a choice. If there is anything that Lucifer has in abundance, it would be choices. So if you go to hell, you will be put in one of those circles to suffer for your sins. If that doesn't seem like a good way to spend the rest of your eternal life, that's because it isn't. But think of it this way, you will be among the dead who share your, uhm, passion. And with the number of occupants in each circle there and more coming, you'll have enough stories to share for the rest of your damnation. Hey, it'll be like one endless Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

If I die right now and go straight to hell, I probably wouldn't find this funny so I should just stop right now. But that's my explanation for not believing that there are dead people with us. Of course, you have to understand that I am not going to say that out loud even if you pay me. There is always that far off chance that I am wrong and that they are indeed here and can hear every single word we say. I don't want to challenge them into making a believer out of me. That would be a tragedy. Or a comedy, depending on which side you are on. In the even more unlikely chance that they also read blogs, there are only two things I can say.

Number 1: I am possessed and not myself, therefore I do not remember writing this.
Number 2 (in case the ghosts don't believe number 1): Oh, crap.

Since my digression has already taken up the amount of time I tolerate for writing nonsense, let me offer this short explanation for my original idea for this entry. I see dead people figuratively. People who are alive but are living a dying life. People who are just going through the motions of living but, deep inside, are really dead. They do not know how it feels like to be truly alive. I realize that this sounds so "The Greatest Miracle in the World" by Og Mandino. But it is true. And since I am no ragpicker, I cannot do anything for these people. I can only hope that I am not one of them.

On The Other Side of The Fence

I understand that career prospects in the Philippines are bleak. I understand why some people have to go out of the country to look for a job. It's just that there never was a need for me to do so. I have a lot of friends working abroad and I had been invited many times to join them. I declined every single time. Not because I am earning well in the Philippines but because I never had the need to earn that much. I am perfectly happy here. I don't want to go. My roommate said that I am the only person she knows who doesn't want to go. I don't care. I want to stay. Or so I thought, until a month ago.

Dianne is in Dubai and she told Tetet and I that if we are interested to go work there, she could help us. Tetet said yes in a heartbeat. I told them that if Tetet manages to get out of the country, then I'll join them both. I didn't even think about it.  My mind did a 360-degree turn in a split second.

I don't know what my motives are and as soon as I'm done analyzing my feelings, I will get back to you. All I could come up right now is that maybe, subconsciously, I want to escape. Escape from what, I cannot say yet. Some part of me still don't want to go. I am a Taurus. I am a big fan of security and comfort zones. I am not the kind of person who has an if-you-can't-beat-them-join-them mentality. If I had lived in the time of Moses, I would not have joined the exodus. So why now? Why seek greener pastures in, as Janica put it, some dessert city? Oh, the irony.

Now I Have a Scapegoat

In case I screw up at work, please refer my bosses to this blog entry.

Below is a chart of the problems that might occur when a person has to work under hot temperature. I got it from this website.

Please take note of loss of concentration and loss of efficiency in mental tasks. And at worse, mental problems. Really. So don't be surprised if you catch me doing a Sisa rendition (Basilio! Cris-peeennn!!!) any time soon.

As we are living in the same country, I'm sure some of you may probably be suffering from the same thing. So go to the same website for more details of your possible alibis in case you mess up, as well as for a definition of heat edema, heat syncope and other sophisticated illnesses linked to too much exposure to high temperature. It may come in handy.

Random Memory # 1

Two decades ago, I walked by myself to school. My mother would give me P1 for snacks and I would use this to buy a huge steaming bowl of benignit during recess time. Take note, the operative term is huge. I swear I could drown in that bowl. But I loved it. It was the highlight of my day. During lunchtime, I would walk back home and, after an hour, walk back to school for my afternoon classes. All this walking I do under the glaring heat of the sun as even when I was still young, I refused to carry an umbrella.

Nowadays, you will never be able to find anything you can buy for P1. Last time I checked, a benignit in a puny plastic cup now costs P5. And I mean puny because it is just a little more than a shot glass.

I still refuse to carry an umbrella but, except on the beach with tons of sunscreen, I no longer brave the sun's heat after 10am. Are you kidding? I do not want to die of heatstroke. That would be a very lousy way to go. I'd rather jump out of a tall building, preferably with a huge crowd and media coverage, for maximum effect.

Please Take This Quiz

"This quest, this need to solve life's mysteries. In the end, what does it matter when the human heart can only find meaning in the smallest of moments?" -Heroes

Yes, I agree. But we are only human after all. We cannot help ourselves from asking philosophical questions about life, most of which don't even have answers. Here's a bunch of those questions here. Go knock yourselves out trying to answer them if you can.

My favorite among that list is: Am I awake or am I dreaming?

It's The Matrix! If Keanu Reeves will make an appearance then I don't really care if I am awake or not.

A Black Hole Made Out of Fabric

In the darkest corner of my side of the room lies the horror that I have, for two weeks, ignored.

My laundry.

However, last night, I was forced to face its existence lest the growing mountain of dirty clothing would grow even  more in mass and density and completely take over the entire room, leaving my roommate and I to sleep outside with the rats.

Now, if there is one thing I hate with a passion, it is doing chores. It had been the subject of two decades of argument between me and my mother, who is a domestic diva if there ever was one. She has this old-fashioned notion that women should be good at housework and, for the life of me, I could never do anything to her satisfaction. Fortunately for both of us, I grew old enough to move out and, thus, ended what I thought would be a lifelong dispute between my mother, the domestic diva from hell, and me, the lousy homemaker from hell herself. Nowadays, whenever I went back home, there were always more important things to catch up on other than household chores.

Of course, living an independent single-girl-in-the-city lifestyle has forced me to deal with housework more frequently than I'm comfortable with. But, at least, I do not have to accomplish it according to the high standards of my mother. I have been doing housework on my own for 4 years now but I'm sure that if any of my recent chores were to be scrutinized by her, they would fail miserably. Luckily, I am among comrades who share the same predicament. So over gigantic basins full of soap suds, we share stories, gossips, and, more importantly, laundry tips that would get us through our ordeal, albeit temporarily.

Because the truth is, we will never get through it. As long as we live, there will always be that pile of laundry to wash. It is what it is. A perennial item on everyone's to-do list.

Brotherhood of Men

I just witnessed a hilarious thing which happened to my officemates. These are two 30-something guys who works on the same field and, more importantly, they are brothers. They got into an argument about something which I didn't understand. Well, whatever it was, it was definitely a subject they both understood plenty because they were arguing so heatedly that not one of them was able to finish a single sentence throughout the entire debate because they kept interrupting each other. If there had been other people present, they would have made quite a spectacle.

So anyway, they were engage in this ferocious battle over who was right and as I was sitting there listening to them, I had no idea how they figured that the other was wrong because they weren't even listening to each other. They were literally talking at the same time. They went like this:

Them (at the same time): Listen to me! Blah, blah, blah...(both stops mid-sentence). You are not listening to me!!!

If they weren't so serious I would have died on the floor from laughing so hard. They would go silent for a few moments while devising another way to rebut the other's argument. When one of them uttered a single word, the whole argument started anew but taking up the same line as above. I am pretty sure that it wasn't resolve up to this point but an hour or so after the debate, they got into talking about another subject and they were laughing like they weren't on each other's throats a few seconds ago.

It's a typical male behavior. If it were girls, even after the issue had been resolved, there would follow a cold war that would last for generations. This also got me to thinking about what would happen if my brother and I got into an argument like the one that they just had. The only thing I could think of is it wouldn't be possible because number 1, my brother and I are not in the same field and number 2, if my brother will argue with me, I will employ the technique I have long practiced over my siblings which basically discourages any of them from arguing with me: I'm going to smack him.

There is no room for democracy when you are snipping sibling rivalry at the bud.

The Hazards of Living in the 21st Century

I watched the latest episode of Criminal Minds on TV and the subject was internet, specifically social networking sites and how we are attracting a bunch of psychos out there with what we post online.

Social networking is all the rage right now. If it were the zombie virus, you'd probably have a better chance of not being infected. I, myself, have not been immune to this epidemic. Posts range from the mundane to the monumentally mundane. I mean, posting every morsel of food that you are consuming right this very minute? That may be interesting to the handful of people who actually know you in person but to the rest of your 1000+ Facebook friends, not really. Trust our generation to bring the meaning of the word "social" to a whole new level. In the midst of the ever-growing population, it seems that we are afraid to be alone and to be without a voice. Or maybe, posting blow-by-blow accounts of our lives will make them sound more exciting than they really are.

Ahh, the civilization. This get-on-board-or-get-left-behind progress. It seems to be always quickly moving forward. But how come, sometimes, it doesn't feel that way?

It's The Beginning of The World As We Know It

Apparently, there is a new finding about how we came to be. Read it here.

I am not a science-nerd so I don't know much about the theories of the existence of the universe and life as we know it. But my personal favorite is still the Big Bang Theory if only for it's explosive nature. It's so befitting of us homo sapiens, who I believe are the most unique creatures in this universe. Unless somebody proves the existence of E.T., who, if movie portrayals were to be taken into consideration, seems to be a more sophisticated and powerful being.

Plus, The Big Bang Theory is also the title of one of my favorite shows on TV today. Dr. Sheldon Cooper is absolutely hilarious. He is so funny I would so totally sleep with him.

Bazinga!

Watch it.

My Thank-You Directory

Just to show that I am not a bitch most of the time, I am going to post my gratitude list here. I make this every week not only because it is one of the features of my planner but also because it is actually pretty awesome to look at it and know that I am one lucky person.

First, I would like to thank my PARENTS, the two most awesome people in my world. Thank you for all your sacrifices and hard work. Pa, you are my hero, my idol. Thank you for all your stories, for setting a great example and for making me your favorite child. Ma, thank you for your strength. We do not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things and we used to fight a lot but I want you to know that I am grateful and proud to have you as my mother. Thank you for not judging me and for all your advices. I want you both to know that I love you and I think that you really did a great job raising us.

Second, my younger SIBLINGS, all 4 of them: Gorick, Oning, Kakay and Dwight. You are a handful bunch. I want you to know that I miss you all everyday. Thank you for all the chaos you got me used to. I know that you  all look up to me as the eldest but I also want you to know that you can be better than I am. Give your best in whatever you do and always listen to Mama and Papa. They are not our best friends and we don't like them most of the time but they are always right. Trust me.

Next, I would like to thank my friends. DIANNE & TETET who are very much with me despite the physical distance. Our exploits together had been legendary. You are part of who I am. JANICE, my roommate, I thank you for putting up with me and my messy side of the room. Thank you for all the late night talks and DVD marathons. JANICA, we have so many things in common that we finish each other's sentences. You always know how to make me laugh. Thank you for being there for me. Let's get together soon. I owe you lunch. NILA, girl, thank your for being an example to me. We may not agree on a lot of things but I want you to know that I admire you. I would also like to mention some friends who I don't get to see as much as I'd like but are good friends nonetheless: ANN-ANN, APRIL, CHERRY, PRINCESS, EARLYN and others I have failed to mention, thank you for being the friends that you are to me.

I would also like to thank JOSEPH for being a constant fixture in my life. Thank you for your love and attention. I am here for you always.

I want to thank my JOB and CO-WORKERS for making me feel productive without being insanely stressed out and for showing me that it is possible to work and have a life at the same time.

Last and most important of all, I thank GOD for giving me all these things that I am grateful for and even for the things that I am not so grateful for. Thank you for giving me this life that I may enjoy all that you've given me. So many times in the past I had wished for a different life. Thank you for not granting me that wish. Thank you for all that is good in this world. I never appreciate them enough.

The Sitcom of My Life in Reruns

And so it goes that I find myself in another recurring episode. I am bored. I need a change. I don't care what kind. I just know that I am sliding into that pit again. The kind that made me quit my job and change my zip code. This is the reason why my parents are worried about me. They think that I will never be able to settle into a relationship or a job that I would be able to hold on to for a long time, like forever. Maybe I should be worried for myself as well. Nothing is exciting anymore, not even my budding love life and that fact makes me really sad. I need an existential electric shock to jolt me out of this.

I should change my hairstyle. I have been wearing it straight since birth. Maybe it's time to get bouncy curls. That's about all the change I could manage right now. I can't move. I can't quit my job. And I can't dump my boyfriend. At least, not yet.