You vs. Zombies

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To be human is to struggle. Life is full of zombies trying to eat your brains.

Ladies who leave their filth in the bathroom when there is clearly a trashcan a couple of feet away.
Me: @#$%

The person who plays the entire repertoire of The Steps at full blast.
Me: Can you please turn it down a little?
Her: Go to hell.
Me: I'm already there, sweetheart. And I don't know what I could have done in this life to deserve such punishment.

The pervert sitting beside me in a packed jeepney, trying to cope a feel of my backside.
If I had daggers in my eyes, I would have stared his peter to amputation.

The devil behind wheels who almost run me over while crossing the pedestrian lane.
Me: @#$%

The client who doesn't know what's good for her.
I'm not a fan of wasting my time on the phone trying to explain my point. With stupid people, there is no winning an argument.

The pig who makes sick, sexist jokes.
Me: You are obviously not getting laid or you would have kept your mouth shut.

Pompous politicians.
Me: Where's an assassin when you need one?

The person who cuts in front of me on the queue.
Me: Ahem, excuse me.
Person who cuts in oblivious to my hair standing at the ends.
Person behind me: Just excuse him, miss. He's old. Let him be.
Me: Look, man, I'm not a rude person. If he had asked me nicely if he could cut in front of me, I would have willingly oblige. But an old person without manners. Is that supposed to be comforting?
(But like I said, there is no winning an argument with a stupid person.)

The street kid who threatens passers by if they don't give money.
Kid (Holds on to my shirt and refuses to let go): Give me five pesos.
Me: Let go of my shirt.
Kid: Not unless you give me five pesos.
Me (steam coming out of my ears): Do you think I'm scared of you. Do you want me to beat the living crap out of your puny form?
Kid: Never mind. (Lets go and scrams.)

Obnoxious sales ladies.
Me (Pointing at the dress displayed way above my reach): Can you please get that for me? I want to try it on.
Lady (Folds her arms across her chest and looks at me): That's too big for you.
Me (Walks away. I'm sorry. I do not want to be yelling at people to do their jobs.)

Stupid people in general.
Me: Oh shit, I'm outnumbered.

The world is full of zombies eating at the pea-shooters in your yard. Load your guns and aim for the head.