My Perk-Me-Up List

White sand beaches (photo credit)

A good book (photo credit)

Red pedicure (photo credit)

Miniskirts and newly-shaved legs (photo credit)

Salon hair days (photo credit)

Chit chat over cups of coffee (photo credit)

A hearty meal (photo credit)

Pizza, soda and DVD nights (photo credit)

Summer tunes (photo credit)

Cagayan de Oro because it's where home, family and friends are. (photo credit)

Venus Rules

During my teenage years, the concept battle of the sexes was very rampant. Almost every discussion would always lead to a girls-versus-boys thing. Now that I’m an adult, I realized how inaccurate that concept was. There is no such thing as men versus women because aside from the fact that there is “too much fraternizing with the enemy” (Jessica Zafra) going on, men are not evolved enough to be on the same level as women. In boxing, you cannot fight someone who is not from the same division as you are. Men are not only not on the same weight division so to speak, they are not even in the pros.

Here’s a newsflash (I’m not gonna hold back so here goes…): most men are stupid. It’s a fact that almost every woman knows. What’s funny is that, even with this knowledge, women still find that men are essential to live a fairly interesting life. So what does a girl do? She pretends that she is even more stupid than her guy. No, we would not want to hurt their feelings. We have to make them feel like they are in-charge or they’ll feel emasculated.

But let’s be reasonable here. Most guys are probably saying, “WTF! How can you say that?” Because, guys, number one, you walk around with the delusion that you are God’s gift to women. You are not. You were created first. But God saw that you were lonely, wandering all alone in the garden. Oh, poor little boy, so helpless and miserable. So God, who is all-powerful and knowing, created us, which in effect makes us women God’s gift to men. But nooooo, you would never admit to this. You are so full of yourselves that you feel like it’s a sin to be keeping yourselves from other women even if you are already with somebody else. Tsk, bad, bad boys. Number two, you think you are smarter than us. I would not even have to elaborate the obvious. We just let you think that you are smarter because, let’s face it, what fun would you guys be if you go around with a long face, moping and feeling useless? Plus, we have a longer lifespan, have higher EQ’s, can give birth to the next generation, are generally more pleasant to be around… the list goes on. But more importantly, men are easy to read. The moment you show yourselves and utter a single word, we know what you want, even if you go on painstaking lengths to hide your true motives. We know. Women, on the other hand, are deceiving. Because it’s what men want, we make you believe that we are damsels in distress because it feeds your machismo to be thinking that you will save the day. You cannot even prove your worth without having to do something physical.

Poor boys, frothing at the mouth as we speak. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, to be the one to shatter the rose-colored glass that has blissfully shielded you from the truth. Don’t worry, you are not completely useless. Yet. Just as long as nobody invents a more viable replacement. A dog would have been perfect. Unfortunately, we need it to be able to stand on two legs and lift heavy objects. So don’t lose heart, guys. You will still find countless intelligent women who will laugh at your not funny jokes, show interest at your boring stories and act impressed by your uhmmm… man stuff. It is so hard to find a good source of entertainment nowadays but one has to make do with what is available, another characteristic which makes women better than men. We adapt and we adapt well.

In conclusion, women are superior. If you guys know what’s best for you, don’t piss us off. We are holding your balls in the palm of our hands. You would not want us to crush them into oblivion, would you? What then would the source of your macho pride be? Oh, the tragedy.

Confessions of a Marriage-Phobic

I have a confession to make. I have a fear of marriage.

When I was a kid, I had always imagined myself being married around this age. Now that I'm at this age and marriage is still nowhere near the horizon, I've grown skeptical about the whole thing. And now, there are all these talks about getting married. Almost everyone I know is either married or planning to get hitched. It could be that I'm imagining things but I feel like there are a lot of scrambling-to-get-married going on around me. Don't get me wrong. I am geniunely happy for those of my friends who felt that the time has come for them. But it is alienating to be standing alone on the other end of the spectrum. Okay, so I am not really alone. I know a couple of other people who share my sentiments so it's the three of us high-fiving each other on the anti-marriage corner. You may also say that this is mere sour-graping on my part. And I admit, it could be.

But let's face it. Marriage is not for everybody. All we have to do is look around us to realize this. My own mother is lucky. My father may not be perfect but he belongs to a different male human species long gone and extinct. Don't even get me started about the guys of my generation. That would entail a separate blog entry altogether. All I can say is, if I'm really desperate for someone to scratch my back, I'd get a dog. At least, it can be trained not to shit all over the place.

Be that as it may, I have not completely ruled out marriage in my uhmmm... future. In the far off chance that the universe will play a cosmic joke, then I will embrace it completely. Just make sure that it is not gonna be to somebody who is going to beat the crap out of me. Because unlike some people, I am not scared to spit in the face of the sanctity that is marriage. The joke is not gonna be on me.

Deal-breaker: Marriage to Chucky

I Want To Improve My Life... (Part 2)

(Here is the continuation of a post from last week.)

Change your wardrobe. What? I do not feel inclined to go Goth. Improve. Not change.
Smile at least 10x a day. Really? Even if there is no reason to? And risk looking like a patient from a mental institution? I think not.
Burn some old memories. Already did. And the amount of space it freed after that is just dying to get filled again.
Plant a tree. Planning to with some friends. Maybe later this year.
Move to another town or country. I'm already in another town. Besides, I don't like moving.
Join new group. I can't think of a group to join right now.
Stop watching TV. I have not had a TV for 4 years now. Sometimes it's actually depressing. But it does spare me from all the crap that people with TV have to put up with.
Start a totally unexpected hobby. I plan to plant my own herbs. When I told my mother about this she was worried because according to her, gardening are either for married people or for spinsters. Since I still have no plans to get married, she just assumed that I'm practicing to be a spinster.
Randomly hug a stranger on the street. No. The stranger will either think that I'm crazy, in which case he'll run screaming away from me, or that I'm a very dangerous person, in which case he'll stab me to death thinking that he was just defending himself.
Set a surprise party. I'm not really a party person. I do not like parties. So it is very unlikely that I would be able to organize a party. But you are doing this to improve yourself, you say. Sure. I will improve myself by not being a party-pooper, which I usually am. There's your improvement.
Go hiking. Yes. Some friends are planning to, along with the tree planting.
Get a pet. I would love to get a dog but it's too much commitment. It's like having a baby only more smelly and hairy. The poor creature will probably die within a week of being with me.
Write a thank you letter. I wrote a thank you blog. Fine. I'll write a letter. Happy now?
Meditate daily. I'm planning to learn yoga. That should take care of the meditation stuff.
Say something nice to somebody. I admit I don't always compliment people unless I was shocked into making the compliment. I will try more often.
Say something nice to You.  NOW we're talking. This I never fail to do albeit only when nobody is around to hear. I would not want anyone to think that I am the female reincarnate of Narcissus.
When in doubt, improvise. Sometimes, that may not be a good idea. Haha. I've heard horror stories about this.
Don't argue, win or lose. Fortunately, I have never seen the sense in arguing. I avoid arguments like a plague.
Stop faking your life. I never need to fake my life. My life is fabulous. People would be lucky to have a life like mine. Like I said, I sometimes sound like Narcissus.
Define goals. Done. Achieving them is entirely different.
Go social. Man, this is the same as the 'Make new friends' from the earlier post. Again, I'll try.
Spend some time alone. Ah, now this I love. I do it all the time.
Fix something by yourself. I'm sure I have fixed something. I just can't remember at the moment.
Help others. I have been doing this all my life. What can I say, I'm the snob with a heart.
Create value. Hell, yeah. What is the purpose of creating something that is completely worthless. And I'm not just talking about monetary value here.
Do random act of kindness. There was a girl who fell down on the side of the street. She couldn't get up immediately because she scraped her knees. Her bag and books were scattered on the sidewalk. I picked up her books and did a really stupid thing. I asked her if she was okay. Of course, she is not okay. But she said she was anyway. Bottom line is I'm a very helpful and kind person. I could not help it. It's in my nature.
One more second. I have a natural inclination to procrastinate. I am not proud of that but there it is. So I just don't take one more second. I take another minute. Or two.
Understand what people want from you. Sure. But a problem arises when people don't understand what they want from you. Besides, you'll never be able to understand everything so I don't sweat it.
Break an old habit. Swearing. I know it's not good. I will try harder not too.
Stop complaining. Au contraire, I rarely complain. I am such a doormat, I hate it.
Reject what you don't want. Actually, easier said than done.
Being is better than having. What can I say? I'm a material girl. But I do try to be. Whatever that means.
Listen to your critics. All the time. I don't necessarily agree with them and most of the time I think they are wrong but I do listen.
Don't take it personally. I need to work on this one. I find it very difficult to not personally take any attack that is thrown against me or anything I did. It just is. I mean, if it's me or something I did, how can it not be personal?
Laugh. I laugh. A lot. Like a lunatic.
Go with passion. I do. Most of the time anyway. I am a fairly passionate person.
Trust your emotion. Yes. Sometimes my emotions are over-the-top but they are seldom completely wrong.
Live it like a holiday. This is gonna be a problem because holiday means spending and that is something that I'm trying to curb right now.
Make a story out of it. Oh, puh-lease. I'm not a story teller. I don't want to be. I don't want to be the person who bores the other person into a coma with anecdotes from my life.
Stop being a follower. Ummm...
Watch your belief. This is fair enough. Our beliefs do help mold us into the person that we are.
Stop lying. I'm not a habitual liar but you have to admit that there are times when it is better to lie.
Stop reacting to stuff. It takes a hell of a lot to annoy or affect me. It's such a waste of energy.
Live today. Of course. We can only live today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
Expect the unexpected. Always.
Enjoy. Of course. Why else would I got through all these?
Make your own rules. Yes. Then break all of them. There are no rules.
Love. I'm a fan of love. I love love.
Get rid of levels. Just like the rules, baby. All going out the window.
No regrets. None whatsoever. Live, love and let cleavage.

Goodbye, Gilmore Girls

Nice run, girls. I enjoyed it so much. Thanks for the roller coaster ride.

After all those time that our bond was put on hold because I went away from home and lived in places with no TV. I finally got to watch the whole 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls. All those witty comments, hilarious jokes, food-binging and mother-daughter moments reminded me of the time when I sat in front of the TV watching your pilot episode many years ago wishing that I had the same relationship with my mother. If your final episode came out then, it would have made me realize that there was still hope for my mother and me.

Chris was the very essence of perfection...

...but I still prefer to have a Luke.

I cannot believe I was living vicariously through the Gilmores. Now its over. Oh well. Goodbye, Loreleis.

To My Beloved Friend and Minion, Alexis

(My friend Alexis wrote this on her Facebook page. This blog entry is my reply.)

You are right. Day offs are rare gifts. Why do I get this feeling that you spend yours worrying about tomorrow or about the stuff you need to do when you get back to work? You worry too much. You need to relax. If I had a dime every time I tell you this, I'd be a millionaire by now.

You are right. Life is not easy. All of us have some sort of bitterness, regrets, and mistakes. The important thing is we learn from them and move on. Do not let the negative stuff take center-stage.

It is human nature to be uncontented. It is okay to aspire for possessions and a higher status in life. But that should not be your end goal. When we die, we cannot take any of those with us to the after-life.

If you don't like where you are and what you do, you can only do so much. At some point you have to stop and ponder if it is all worth it. Things may not work out but that doesn't necessarily mean a dead end. If you have learned from it then it has served its purpose. Nothing we do is ever pointless, the good or the bad. Unless you just sit in one corner and wait for the day of your death or the apocalypse, whichever comes first. Now, THAT is pointless.

The most important thing in life I believe is to do something which you believe in, something that is worth your time. Not only will your life be productive but when you die and your Creator will ask you what you have been doing with the time He gave to you, you will not be embarrassed with your answer.

Do not wait for things like love, fame and success to happen to you. Make them happen. And if they don't happen, cheer up, it's not the end of the world. There are other things in life that can make you happy, like your family, friends and work. Like everything else in this world, happiness is a choice. It has to be a conscious effort on your part and no, you cannot find that in another person especially if you are not happy with yourself.

Indeed, you are lucky. Your family loves you. We, your friends, love you just as much. I know you will continue to worry. It's one of the things you do well. It's one of the things we love about you. It's one of the things that make you you. But don't overdo it. Wrinkles are never in fashion. Always remember, however deep the pit that you may be in at any given time, some people have it worse. Some people die miserable. As long as you are alive, you have a better chance of getting yourself out of that shithole and die happy.

More importantly, what makes you really lucky, is that you have me. Your semi-perfect deity of a friend who is willing to go out on a limb to give you decent advice. Understand that this is non-compulsory. You may read this and not follow it, if you wish. Though I strongly advice against that because I know I am right and I would totally hate to see this blog space go to waste.

I am kidding, of course. A little.

Now, if I could only learn to follow my own advices, I'd be in better shape than I am today in all respects. But I guess that's just not how it works.

Nostalgic For Anime

I came across this on YouTube. It's one of my favorite anime shows and has one of my favorite anime songs as well:



I used to watch it with my younger siblings. Finding it now brought back to mind a bunch of really good times and I realize how I terribly miss those guys.

The truth of the matter is one of the reasons that I moved out of the house was because I felt that it had become way too small for all of us. I have 4 younger siblings and they behaved like how normal kids do when they are around each other. They fought, they bickered, they teased, they ran around the house, they yelled at each other. The chaos was insane. I just had to get away.

Don't get me wrong. I love my siblings. That is something that I have always known. I practically raised our youngest brother. Being the eldest, I was very protective of them. I would fight their battles for them if I had to. When somebody bullied them, I always came to their rescue. I threatened to beat the other kid until he promised not to mess with my siblings anymore. I would rather die than see any harm come to those kids. But at some point, I grew exasperated of the chaos and the proximity to those little monster kids became too much.

There were a lot of things we didn't agree about, especially when it came to watching TV. They liked basketball and gag shows. I liked Charmed and Gilmore Girls. But when it came to anime, we were all in complete agreement. We watched Ghostfighter, Dragonballs, Samurai X, Slam Dunk, etc. on TV together. The homeworks had to wait. We even used to sing along to the opening and closing songs. They were all in Japanese and we didn't know the lyrics but we sung it with feelings. Now I will always look back at those times and feel lucky that I have my siblings who shared those times with me.

I'll be back home for a few days this weekend. When I do, I'll give each of them a bear hug and tell them that I missed them.

Forgive me, but before I sign out for the weekend, here's another one of those anime songs:

Random Memory # 2: A Test Subject for Freud

I am like my father in so many ways. My mother said that had I been a boy, I would have been his exact carbon-copy. Unfortunately for my mother, that was to her disadvantage. I'll explain later. One of the many things that my father and I share in common is our extremely low tolerance for pain. Let me share a random memory.

I was about 4 and my father came home from a basketball game with a huge scrape on his knee (what else can you get by having 10 guys fight over one stupid ball?). Upon seeing this, my mother went into wife-mode, chastising my father for not being careful while preparing the disinfectant and some cotton balls. I, on the other hand, fascinated by how a grown person can get wounded like a scrawny kid in the playground, was examining my father's wound. Apparently, kids have high tolerance for stuff that would otherwise induce a cringe from an adult. When my mother was done with her preparations and was about to disinfect my father's knees, she relegated me to a corner from where my vantage point was limited to a view of my mother's back. The moment the alcohol-soaked cotton made contact with my father's wound, he gave out a loud howl. It brought about a panic in me and prompted me to do what I thought was called for on such occasions.

I bit my mother.

I bit her so hard that this time it was her who had to give out a loud shriek. She abandoned the idea of cleaning the wound for fear that I would bite her again until I drew blood.

Far be it for me to rationalize my actions from two decades ago, I can only say that some instinct kicked in when I thought that my father was being killed and I had to do what I had to do. Freud would probably be amused and say that I have a classic case of an Electra Complex. Maybe so. Based on my own observations, I noticed that most first-born girls have this kind of attachment to their fathers. And I really am a carbon-copy of my dad. Not only do we have similar physical features but we also share an inclination to impulsive shopping and, more importantly, a loathing for housework. Like I said, unfortunately for my mother.

Brotherhood of Men

I just witnessed a hilarious thing which happened to my officemates. These are two 30-something guys who works on the same field and, more importantly, they are brothers. They got into an argument about something which I didn't understand. Well, whatever it was, it was definitely a subject they both understood plenty because they were arguing so heatedly that not one of them was able to finish a single sentence throughout the entire debate because they kept interrupting each other. If there had been other people present, they would have made quite a spectacle.

So anyway, they were engage in this ferocious battle over who was right and as I was sitting there listening to them, I had no idea how they figured that the other was wrong because they weren't even listening to each other. They were literally talking at the same time. They went like this:

Them (at the same time): Listen to me! Blah, blah, blah...(both stops mid-sentence). You are not listening to me!!!

If they weren't so serious I would have died on the floor from laughing so hard. They would go silent for a few moments while devising another way to rebut the other's argument. When one of them uttered a single word, the whole argument started anew but taking up the same line as above. I am pretty sure that it wasn't resolve up to this point but an hour or so after the debate, they got into talking about another subject and they were laughing like they weren't on each other's throats a few seconds ago.

It's a typical male behavior. If it were girls, even after the issue had been resolved, there would follow a cold war that would last for generations. This also got me to thinking about what would happen if my brother and I got into an argument like the one that they just had. The only thing I could think of is it wouldn't be possible because number 1, my brother and I are not in the same field and number 2, if my brother will argue with me, I will employ the technique I have long practiced over my siblings which basically discourages any of them from arguing with me: I'm going to smack him.

There is no room for democracy when you are snipping sibling rivalry at the bud.

My Thank-You Directory

Just to show that I am not a bitch most of the time, I am going to post my gratitude list here. I make this every week not only because it is one of the features of my planner but also because it is actually pretty awesome to look at it and know that I am one lucky person.

First, I would like to thank my PARENTS, the two most awesome people in my world. Thank you for all your sacrifices and hard work. Pa, you are my hero, my idol. Thank you for all your stories, for setting a great example and for making me your favorite child. Ma, thank you for your strength. We do not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things and we used to fight a lot but I want you to know that I am grateful and proud to have you as my mother. Thank you for not judging me and for all your advices. I want you both to know that I love you and I think that you really did a great job raising us.

Second, my younger SIBLINGS, all 4 of them: Gorick, Oning, Kakay and Dwight. You are a handful bunch. I want you to know that I miss you all everyday. Thank you for all the chaos you got me used to. I know that you  all look up to me as the eldest but I also want you to know that you can be better than I am. Give your best in whatever you do and always listen to Mama and Papa. They are not our best friends and we don't like them most of the time but they are always right. Trust me.

Next, I would like to thank my friends. DIANNE & TETET who are very much with me despite the physical distance. Our exploits together had been legendary. You are part of who I am. JANICE, my roommate, I thank you for putting up with me and my messy side of the room. Thank you for all the late night talks and DVD marathons. JANICA, we have so many things in common that we finish each other's sentences. You always know how to make me laugh. Thank you for being there for me. Let's get together soon. I owe you lunch. NILA, girl, thank your for being an example to me. We may not agree on a lot of things but I want you to know that I admire you. I would also like to mention some friends who I don't get to see as much as I'd like but are good friends nonetheless: ANN-ANN, APRIL, CHERRY, PRINCESS, EARLYN and others I have failed to mention, thank you for being the friends that you are to me.

I would also like to thank JOSEPH for being a constant fixture in my life. Thank you for your love and attention. I am here for you always.

I want to thank my JOB and CO-WORKERS for making me feel productive without being insanely stressed out and for showing me that it is possible to work and have a life at the same time.

Last and most important of all, I thank GOD for giving me all these things that I am grateful for and even for the things that I am not so grateful for. Thank you for giving me this life that I may enjoy all that you've given me. So many times in the past I had wished for a different life. Thank you for not granting me that wish. Thank you for all that is good in this world. I never appreciate them enough.