The Godfather Trilogy

I got my father a gift last Christmas. It was a complete DVD set of The Godfather Trilogy. For those who are not familiar, this is a movie about a family of mobsters. Knowing my father, he always likes movies with guns in them. Praises have been said about these films. I have read a Puzo book myself and it is not bad at all. But when I saw the movies, I didn't care that they were hailed as the best films ever made. I didn't care that these movies won a bunch of awards. All I saw were these:

Al Pacino as Michael Corleone (photo credit)

Robert De Niro as Vito Corleone (I could not find a better picture. You will have to see the movie.) photo credit

Andy Garcia as Vincent Marcini (He's not actually of Italian descent but who cares.) photo credit

I know I need not say more but I'm going to say it anyway. Al Pacino was hot. Robert De Niro was so freakin' hot. Andy Garcia was so effin' oh-my-god-I'm-hyperventilating hot. Please douse me with cold water. Thank you.

Admittedly, these guys are now just a mere shadow of the enigma that was their former selves. But what can you do? People grow old. Regardless... I have not heard a word that they said. All I saw was that they killed a lot of goons. I don't care. They could have just stood around staring at the camera. I'd still give them all an Oscar.

Song of the Moment: Wag Kang Matakot

Wag kang matakot
Dahil ang buhay moy walang katapusan...
...Ikaw ang dyosa't hari nang iyong mundo
Matakot sila sa 'yo...

How true, how true. This one is a song for the deities and this goes out to all the ladies out there who are goddesses in their own right.

Thank you, Eraserheads, for encapsulating in those few lines the force majeure that is a woman. If Ely B. were a woman, this song would have been perfect but we can't have everything.

However, this song does send a message. Guys, be scared. Be very scared.

Men and Women's Anatomy

If there are two things about women that men are so fascinated with, it's our breasts. 

photo credit

It doesn't matter that as infants they were fed from this part of a woman's anatomy, which is ewww. They go through their lives in constant awe from the wonders that is our boobs. Maybe the fact that they were breastfed as infants is what holds this fascination. That something so... squishy and so... jiggly could sustain them is indeed a cause for wonder. But then again, it could also be because both men and women have them but no matter how hard they work out at the gym, they can never grow theirs as big as ours. Let's just say thank God, He knows what it attractive, because for the life of me, I could never imagine macho men walking around with Pamela Lee's racks. That's just wrong. It's something out of the Twilight Zone series. 

I have been face-to-face with this charisma that our boobs have over men on more than one occasion. I noticed that if you show them just a hint of cleavage, they will not be able to help themselves. They will look. But since, it is just a hint of flesh and you are not being whore-ish, they just steal glances here and there for fear of invoking the wrath of sexual harassment charges.

Guys, even if you go on painstaking lengths to be cautious, we know that you are looking. Trust us, it's pretty obvious that you are looking at our chest when you are supposed to be looking at our faces when we are talking to you. It's obvious even if you are just "stealing" a glance. We understand that it is something instinctual and you can't stop yourselves. But your gentlemanly pretense is hilarious when you are just dying to see the goods.

A few times when I'd dressed slutty and displayed breast cheeks, they'd drop pretenses altogether and greet my boobs. And how about when you are talking to a guy and he is standing up while you are sitting down? Nine times out of ten, he's looking down inside the shirt.

I am reminded of a scene from the Big Bang Theory, when Penny was introduced to Leslie, the female genius.

Penny: Wow, a woman scientist! Cool!
Leslie: Yes. Guys come for the breast and stay for the brains.

Sadly, more often than not, men just come for the breasts period. If he is the kind of guy who stays for the brain, then he is probably not the kind of guy who came for the breast in the first place. But how many guys do you know are like that? How many, pray tell? (Janica, don't answer that question.)

It's funny how a lot of women go through the hassle of enhancing their boobs to make them more attractive to men. Sometimes surgical, like getting implants. Sometimes manual, like stuffing wads of tissue in their bra. Girls, you do not have to do any of these. Cut your breasts some slack and trust in the power they wield against all men. Big or small, all-natural or enhanced, men will take boobs in however way they can. Just as long as they are attached to a female homo sapien. Your A-cups should not be the cause of your worries. They should not be the reason for your inability to find a mate. The fact that there are more than a couple billion other women who possess the same anatomical parts is where the problem lies.

Tales From the Creep

If you are familiar with the show from the 80's (Tales from the Crypt), then you will know that this is a horror story. Or in this case, a series of horror stories based on actual events.

Story 1
(Unknown person called. Girl picked up.)
Unknown person (guy): I love you.
Girl: Who is this?
(Guy hung up the phone but proceeded to repeat this procedure 5 times a day. Girl soon got tired of this so she did some research and found out who the caller was. So the next time the phone rang...)
Guy: I love you.
Girl: Classmate, I know who you are.
Guy: Ahh...Uhmmm... Sorry, wrong number.

Story 2
(Guy chatted up Girl.)
Guy: What are you doing?
Girl: I'm working.
Guy: Please turn on your webcam.
Girl: I can't. I'm working.
Guy: I want to see you.
Girl: You'll see me when you get to work tomorrow.
Guy: I want to see what you are wearing.
Girl: My work clothes. Geesh, you're like Norman Bates.
Guy: Who is Norman Bates?
Girl: That's you, sicko.

Story 3
(Guy chatted up Girl.)
Guy: Hi, how are you?
Girl: I'm okay.
Guy: Please use your webcam.
Girl: I can't. I'm at work.
Guy: Please. Just use your webcam.
Girl: I'm sorry but I really can't.
Guy: You know me. If I don't get what I want, I'll get angry and I'll bang this keyboard on my desk.
(Like I care? Offline mode.)

Story 4
Guy: Can I have your number?
(Girl doesn't know how to say no to requests like these, so she gave him the number. The next day, Guy texted Girl.)
Guy: Hi, how are you?
(Girl saw this as a chance to let Guy down without confrontation.)
Girl: I'm okay. But please don't text me, my boyfriend will not like it.
Guy: Okay. Let's go to church later.
(Huh?)
Girl: I will but I'm going with my boyfriend.
Guy: Why do you always have to be with him? He's already your boyfriend.
(That's a good question but I have a better one: If I'm not gonna be with him, then who should I be with? You? Don't think so. Remove from contacts.)

Story 5
Guy: Let's go out on a date.
Girl: Excuse me, you have a girlfriend.
Guy: Do you want me to break up with her? Because I will if you ask me to...
(Uhmmm.... Is that supposed to make me feel special?)

Story 6
(Guy posted on Girl's Facebook wall.)
Guy: Your smile is nice.
(Obviously, Guy has not seen Girl's awful teeth. But a compliment is a compliment.)
Girl: Thanks.
Guy: You're beautiful, baby.
(Ewwww. Remove post.)

Creeps of the world abound. Most of them men. I really only know two creepy women. One is me and the other is a housekeeper we had a long time ago. Somebody told me that creepiness is contagious. If you are exposed to it for prolonged periods, you will assimilate creep. But then again, there is a creep gene in every single one of us. It comes out especially at times when the current object of our obsession is unaware of our existence. And that's fine. But if you see a full-pledge creep heading your way, run screaming to the opposite direction. We can only hope that, for recognition purposes, they are wearing a name tag.

The Crypt keeper, creepy but genius. (photo credit)