Masculine Wash and the Apocalypse

Really. What is this abomination that they called a masculine wash? Do guys really need it? Granting, guys really smell bad, like, in general. But down there? I think this metrosexual bullshit is blurring the fine line between male homo and hetero. I mean, what could be more gay than a masculine wash? Where the hell is the stupid machismo that you guys seem to take so much pride in?

Guys, trust me. You don't smell down there. At least, not as bad as women do. I will be the first to admit that our smell requires a feminine wash. Yours doesn't. If you think you smell bad enough to be needing a masculine wash, you probably need to see a doctor.

A masculine wash. The thought alone makes me cringe. It is amusing come to think of it but mostly it is just disgusting. I am not being a prudish feminist but this is just incomprehensible. Is this a manifestation of your repressed jealousy of the female species? I'm just thinking out loud here. But here is another thought: why don't you guys grow a vagina? Then you can have a real use for a wash. And a pap smear. That way you can have PMS and can also bear children. Please, spare us from the torment of child-birth. That's a hell lot more useful than your need for a masculine wash.

And to the manufacturers of this detestable product, here's an idea from my friend: masculine wash that comes in different flavors! Just like the condoms! Oh boy. A man-purse, I could take. Maybe you should think about an innovation more worthy of a nobel prize, like breast pumps for guys. Or tampons for him. If that isn't a sign of the apocalypse, I don't know what is. Time to repent.

A movie I have not seen. Man-pregnancies
are convenient but not really appealing.